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March 29, 2018

I avoid it,

She is there,

I remain.

Within interiors,

Barren and all,

A certain odour ….


Don’t normalise,

To be known,

I’ll be free.

Here, we’re unclean,

The fatigue is constant,

The drugs ….


We write while under

The influence of

Certain sedatives.

I forget the day

Of the week,

But, music still plays.


Capitalise as you wish,

But it’s my work?

Why of course.

A disdain for some,

Never return:

There will be questions.


Italicise: I can’t refuse,

I write. You edit,

Nothing people.

If not for my freedom,

There’d be nothing,

Nothing for the nothing people.


I turn the page,

Lose my place,

Outside air: frigid.

Untrained, as one,

Call for me,

I won’t come.


I’ll be where I’m needed,

Hence, nowhere,

Complain, complain.

Permission’. Idiot,

I loathe the word,

Two black boys. I know.


Inseparable, in nature,

I await the calling

Out of names: it comes.

Then, I call out names,

A stern tone: it fails,

Most always, it fails.


I won’t bathe before,

Beforehand I’ll be small,

Small with depression.

I can’t see, think,

Weak, I know,

I am a weakness.


Random, two artists,

No additional charges,

Put on the jukebox.

I know it as one word,

You as two,

Only one is correct: I.


Weak cretins edit,

Left temple throbs,

It’s loud, in the café.

Don’t call my name,

Don’t call my title,

For I differ.


My category differentiates,

My brain feels smaller,

The head shrinker shrank it.

Sometimes, it grows –

When I refuse the drugs,

It grows, immensely.


Should it be of full size?

No, said the head shrinker,

Stolen words. I don’t mind.

Repeat my words. You, cherished,

You won’t play my song,

You’ll like certain songs.


Alicia’s choice. Play it there,

Leisha: a name I’ve grown to loathe,

I’m a poet, who writes: unusual.

Lucy, a dear name. Lucy, I loved,

Again, a stolen name,

No musical backdrop. Not anymore.


Not now: ‘it’s wrong’,

No. You’re wrong, Emma’,

On the radio when with you.

In a car, when moving,

Me driving. A strange girl,

Nothing stolen.


Nothing stolen, nothing gained,

A known destination. A short walk,

Outback outpost or world’s centre.

A real world,

I knew your wish:

You got it.


And had he retired,

Had he given in,

These years could have been ….

Differentiated. In silence,

Retirement: an easy decision,

We make it daily.


Strange whore. Yellow pants,

On holidays, but where ….

Gynaecologists, etc.

And for me, your regular?

No word. A shopping trip,

Now, you’re in yellow.


Now, you listen back,

What an idiot act,

Who cares for your words.

We listen: nothing else,

Randomised order,

I know not what follows ….


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