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WITHDRAWAL

April 11, 2018

Oh, but what a scornful voice,

Take your leave hence!

You have no business here,

Being here, being.

In a poncho, being,

My forever friend, being.

He plays the field, being,

Old jacket, old pants, being.

 

No problem. She’ll do your work,

It’s not her job: she does it.

Let the boy work!

Why are you sometimes absent?

Sometimes ever present?

Pages forever tainted, by rain.

I played my hand, like my forever friend,

It seems I may have lost.

Today, I’ll sun the pages!

They’re forever tainted ….

 

He lives in a hive,

Of withdrawal.

The honey saps as wax,

No. I don’t share the obsession.

They cut the electricity,

The rain falls asunder.

Heart rate: deep breaths,

Only cure: sleep, drug assisted.

 

But, the day is not for sleeping,

Much to do: I’ve much to do.

Alcohol on the shelves: pastis,

Alcohol, from a certain hour.

I drank with her,

She’s now straddled by baby.

What a life to lead,

Funny voiced.

Dustpan and broom shudder,

Go out and work!

I’m with baby,

I hear songs admired.

Previously. Now, it’s baby hymns,

Rapid heartbeat, racing ….

 

Withdrawal. First, second day,

The third …. breakdown.

I frequented a room,

Where coffee was served.

Alcohol from a certain hour,

Unsteady hand.

There, I’m no longer seen,

She works with no windows surrounding.

Bright light shadows,

I missed it: there, my fault …. maybe not.

Too fast. Slowly deary,

Dreary. It’s sunny ….

Not in a head beguiled,

Deep breaths. Steady breaths.

Supplier, out of stock,

It’s just like …. don’t compare.

 

Don’t look at the sun,

It blinds. Here, not so much.

He refused me. Now, he’s in a bind,

But released on bail:

A king’s ransom’s on his head,

I’ll be there as he’s led away.

I’ll remind him of his wrong,

I’ll visit him in the hole, his hive.

I’ll tell him, again, that I know,

These days he thinks not of me.

I think of Milan: a bland man,

I think of Samuel: eccentric.

Samuel’s office, shared. We laughed,

I laughed, smiled. ‘A new perspective.

This, you need’. He was my idol,

For every boy needs an idol.

And every mad cat. I sang the

Mad cat blues, in a hive, a hole.

 

Now, I wait. The effects: lessening,

Seemingly. The coffee weakened the blow.

Now, I breathe deep. Samuel ….

I think of thee. Rush, rush, rush.

Stress, stress, stress. All are late,

He goes out searching.

I’ve a private office space,

With store room. One by one

Metre. A hive. The hives,

Await, your peaceful realm.

Wooden chair backs. Faded linens,

For how long has this remained as such?

Unchanged, unalterable. I recall minor changes,

A small child’s chair.

Leather rather than hard backed wood,

I’ve crevassed a place. I’ve more comfort.

 

A crescent is my home, my hive,

Once, they canned here.

Canned meat and fruit,

Now, we live on this street.

Whose name appears here?

An author wrote his treatise here.

His home remains intact,

One is for his first name;

Another his second.

 

We talk in hushed whispers,

I’m withdrawing, withdrawn.

Always on a Sunday,

Always, always. Despite the spite,

You’re invited: a last minute call,

A call back: I’m here.

There was an error, confusion,

I sleep upon stilts.

A lethargic ‘good day’,

I speak softly, slowly:

I’m withdrawing: respect this.

I rested my eyes before you arrived,

Dripping with sweat and stench.

The stench oozing:

I see why you offer no regard.

The greeting of a mule,

Trapped in a hive.

The web of spider,

The cave of an urchin.

Here, we wait longly,

Longingly …. we’re withdrawn.

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