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AS ALWAYS, LEFT FRONTAL LOBE

April 20, 2018

Greeting: black, dark as her hair,

Liable to change, her darling hair,

Stepping out, settling in,

A glass of wine, sunglasses,

Here, we sit in outside air,

Indoors was an option,

Here, we live alone,

A long way from home,

Such is fate, mine,

I waited for your call,

Always, I waited,

They’re on a date, quite jolly,

They howl: they’re fools,

Their follies are a foolery:

Exactly. On dates, we break,

Hearts and other. Break broken hearts,

Already broken down by the masses,

Foreign tongues …. don’t belong here,

Outside the norm, and all,

Push past, look behind: wait,

We’re waiting …. for what ….

 

The petty squabbles,

The petty lives,

All the petty lives,

Down at my feet,

The dandies dress in blue,

I’ve no desire to be him,

Here, we’re conventional,

Said the most conventional,

But, they never question hairdos,

Long and out of place and all,

Not concerned by tax debts,

That leave me broken and all,

And begging, and lacking drugs,

My mind feels at a loss,

As always, left frontal lobe,

Why here, always? There’s a vide.

 

Do we sing merry lies here?

Do we cry jolly farewells?

With weeping and all,

No. I return to failure,

That’s all. Room, surrounded,

By walls and books, never to be read,

For my eyes close with every endeavour,

Here, all remains floored,

And flawed. My brain lacks

Substance and all. Before ….

Fatigue constant. Maybe it’s better,

Now, it’s better. I’ll cut my nails,

He understands the language,

He can’t speak it,

For he lives in realities there,

Feet cold. Open windows. No shoes,

Repetition, I’ve never understood,

I won’t pay that fine. It’s fine,

Debtors’ prison hence,

It’s where I belong,

I’ve paid my fair share,

I’ll await the response,

It won’t come,

And then ….

 

I step out, not,

I see views, dirty windows,

Every break: I’ll clean this, that,

Never. He, she, tall,

She, mother,

He, in dispute,

He, father of cats, et al,

A movie hall, empty,

We would say,

No point playing the movie,

Sorry folks. Friends should have been called,

I hate their progeny,

She’s a big nosed teacher,

We joke a lot, noses,

Is he what he seems?

He seems something he’s not.

 

You’ve changed, been changed,

The capital changed you,

Move from a capital to another,

Second, dull. First, no,

It’s no New York,

In your suburb,

Do you regret it?

Your marriage, etcetera,

I remember your words, still,

Never would you be wed,

Forget discriminations,

Imagined. No one cares for you,

No one thinks of you,

Hence, you’re fine,

You’re nothing special, I conclude,

Yes, but you take the best of.

 

Don’t you worry, dear,

With the summit of extravagance,

Trucks pass by. A racket,

These empty streets,

They’re already quietened,

They’ll awaken one day,

One day soon. We’ll weep,

Brain drugs slow us,

They imitate the brain’s function,

More than before, today,

But I lack one brain drug,

You’re always welcome here,

He’s in love with you,

Has always been your love.

 

I was surprised indeed

To know you still watched,

Then, no more. This other, deranged,

He could have been you, love,

Young, big nosed teacher, bespectacled,

Sees movies alone. I also,

You, love, travel alone,

Where is husband, undesired,

A dilemma, I’m sure,

Now, it can’t be taken back,

Yesterday, my last lost day,

One prays and hopes. The heavens,

How did he do it?

It’s largely uninteresting,

They call it genius,

I like it, for I must.

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