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THE DEPENDENCE

April 24, 2018

I never think it will work,

All happy, happy photos.

What a joyous day,

And what about the end?

Where will we all be?

Will an invitation be extended?

I’ll be there at any length,

This will be my joyous day.

 

She wasn’t interested,

I tested the waters.

All there was to do,

Dependence ….

Wrong time and place,

Will she pass my way again?

The future will guide me,

Do I want to meet her?

She’s an enigma,

Could we be lovers?

In another realm,

She’ll always be there:

Around the corner,

I know not where.

 

Angels arrive at night,

They laugh and mock.

They hold the key,

I hold the candle box.

Wax dripping down,

All around.

A knocking at the door,

Destiny, or not.

Don’t talk of love,

Elsa, a dream.

An historical dream,

We’ve all had an Elsa.

An hallucinogenic dream,

When will I be free?

Will I see Elsa again?

It’s not certain.

 

I can’t shut off my mind,

At nightfall, a thousand thoughts.

White dress, black vest,

She had a fringe, a jacket.

Real leather or not, dear one,

I mostly agree with you.

I won’t call you by your name,

Your first name, as per your wish.

 

Mornings, music: they sleep,

An idiot’s musings.

In my hallway, he muses,

Houses were extended.

This enabled a certain peace,

But still, the rain fell hard.

They dig up ground at will,

It’s a job, not a pastime.

Our jobs enable breaks,

We do nothing during breaks.

Don’t believe the defensive,

They fear for their pastime.

 

I won’t tell if you won’t,

They’re overpaying, these pigs.

Pigs are not playthings,

Yet they are on every plate.

Gassed, strung up, slit,

Normal. Give me a nightmare.

Feet covered with warts,

Stopping at the ankles.

Pigs, in hell, in heaven,

In stomachs. I choked.

Rightly. Defence mechanism,

After the fact, the death.

No tombstone. No burial,

No final words. No prayers.

 

Dependence ….

Never fully awakened.

A mess on the counter,

A mess of drugs.

Drug paraphernalia,

And I can’t break the need.

The dependence.

The dependence, it breaks me,

I saw him with his drugs.

A fool, with nothing music,

Inspire, don’t be be inspired.

 

The drug brings on sleep,

With nightmares.

Life is a nightmare,

Thus, dreams are reality.

Go back to your café,

With no history.

Here, I’m making history,

You made nothing.

 

What of today?

The same as yesterday.

The dependence broke another,

No longer addicted.

Or rather, yes,

Absolutely addicted.

Dependence ….

My mind fuzzes in and out.

My mind breaks in two,

Breaks out in sweat.

 

Don’t wear yesterday’s garb,

Throw it in the bin.

Don’t be caught dead,

I won’t be caught dead or alive.

July seventh, day of reckoning,

I said all your words. I’m fine.

 

A simple début. A simple past,

Leave at the appropriate hour.

There was never an appropriate ambiance,

Not from my perspective.

Too many false smiles,

A balding fool.

The lover to be wed,

She’ll dream of more:

A full head of hair,

Sorry friend. But you’ll be free.

Me, I’ll never be free,

Of dependence ….

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