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LOCKED IN A ROOM

May 4, 2018

The crowds, the crowds,

They trample me down.

Without a single care,

And, I’m here for them!

They don’t see this,

They see me as an annoyance.

Another annoyance

In a world of annoyance.

 

Pay the fare,

Take a ride.

I won’t be there,

I see children all round.

At my feet,

With my bag.

Words contained within,

The words come once only.

And then they’re gone,

Like any crowd.

A crowd: anonymous,

Never to be replicated.

 

The crowds don’t listen,

They don’t care.

Why am I here?

An act of deceit.

Of high treason,

I should be home.

In solitude,

I need no one.

I am no one,

Strange routines:

Cereal, juice (drugs), coffee,

Yes: I’m here afternoons now.

When my stomach’s settled,

From my breakfast quite precise.

 

And they pose their questions,

And I’ve no response.

I’m here for you, for them,

. for me. It’s significant.

So says doctor,

Doctor and his drugs.

You’ll regret,

Take drugs before.

Take a breath,

You’re an anonymous, minor.

They’re taking pleasure,

On a Friday night.

I’m working for nothing,

Benevolent. You do good …. activist.

 

His woman leaves his side,

He calls. A sale’s in the works.

The coffee rind makes a mess all round,

It’s burning, steaming, on the floor.

My life is writing!

If I’m writing, I can’t attend!

But you must (doctor),

Two calls (woman absent).

He sings as he makes coffee,

He feigns anger.

 

Anxiety rising,

Why this need?

Companionship: a weak need,

A strong desire.

Now it’s all done below,

I smell it fervently.

Three calls (his woman’s absent),

What would he have done

If not for this absence?

Life would have been hard coming.

Hard come by. Hard won,

A battle well fought.

 

He shows signs of patriotism,

For a city, not a nation state.

This amuses him, briefly,

Longly, all day through.

He forsook his true allegiance

For this, a god in bronze.

In ivory. Murder (!), they cry,

Yesterday I was stranded.

Locked in a room, my home,

Hours upon hours, walls ….

They closed in. I’m sick,

Sick of his enthusiastic ways.

 

Work hard, but work wise,

You could be more,

Much as she,

But she has likely failed.

Much as I failed myself,

I didn’t understand the world –

The modern world! It’s all so strange,

Little makes for high moral standing.

How did doctor learn his craft?

His words of wisdom.

He learnt on the sly,

Flying by, on a broomstick.

 

A celebration of all that’s bad,

A fairly good yardstick.

Don’t shackle me to a chair,

Don’t shackle me to a place.

A grand square, the grandest,

People come and go.

Once they came and stayed,

In their graves they stayed.

Shot down, they were,

Brazen gunmen.

They turned their guns on me,

A terse smile:

I longed for this –

Always, I longed.

I thank him as he lets loose,

I look to the heavens in thanks.

I pray (!) – my wish come true,

No more spewing out words.

No more unnecessary guilt,

This land, this world: I’m part.

I’m culpable. I do little wrong,

The drugs, gifts, etcetera.

Doctor’s orders (!), I cry,

Money off a clip.

Await change ….

Change will ne’er be.

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