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COUNTLESS PENNIES

November 15, 2018

It’s been a while,

I’d thought longly,

For me it was over,

I broke their hearts,

They were shattered,

In two pieces and all,

I laughed, turning,

Looking back there,

They were confused,

I wasn’t committed,

I’m not at all now,

I’m prepared to go,

To wait, for years,

Why don’t they call?

They’ve my number,

I remind them, timely,

They can’t forget,

They won’t. I’ll be first,

Is there anyone else?

They’re priorities, nought,

I preferred being alone,

There, she speaks to me,

She liaises with mother,

My native tongue, broken,

Apologies. It’s fine,

The sun’s not yet up,

It’s early. I’ve much,

I’m paid a pittance,

Countless pennies banked,

I’m wealthy, not off them,

Off their back I’m poor,

I walk in crumpled blues,

My clothes are lost,

They no longer shine,

It’s always the same,

I’m on the right side,

I hear a dishwasher,

He’s busy in a sink,

She handwashes all,

Her linen’s ever fresh,

She’s depressed at length,

Postpartum, my love,

She was to be mine,

A lifetime ago, she was,

She doesn’t know me,

She’s in discomfort,

Was it worth it? No,

You’ll be forever bitter,

He, she, broke spirits,

Spines. You’re huge,

Nobody, in obscurity,

You’ll make your way,

Home is across oceans,

You double-crossed me,

You’re behind my back,

You plot. You whisper,

I hear your thoughts,

You scream. You push,

What’s your soundtrack?

Your child wails loud,

I stare. I’m travel-weary,

I’m jet-lagged. I sleep,

Days disappear slowly,

I missed him, his visit,

He returned later on,

He grew there for years,

He was mature, old,

He remained, unmoved,

He associates with fools,

Soon to be fathers,

No babies, no cats,

He’s rich, in a mansion,

It’s smaller than that,

Great writers envy,

They loathe the land,

They don’t bother,

Setting off’s a drama,

He has one dear friend,

He came for a barbecue,

He sat and smoked,

In a corner, it was warm,

A cool drink in hand,

Beer was always flowing,

There was no limit,

There was no time,

I don’t remember,

No. Your dears are gone,

They were murdered,

Rightly, I was young,

The funeral was large,

I was absent until death,

Come over for lunch,

Leave before I perform,

I’m here, on stage,

I’m a solitary creature,

I long for her still,

She’s of the other,

On the opposite side,

I jump across roofs,

I’ve no fear of them,

I have but a small space,

She’ll be here soon,

Next week she’ll speak,

I’ll keep a safe distance,

She’ll voyage far,

I’m a part of her dream,

I could reach out,

Now it’s difficult,

If she’d only recalled,

Her green eyes forgot,

I’ve known her for decades,

Her heart’s now broken,

She makes her way,

It’s okay. She lies,

One day she’ll die,

It’s years from now,

Her suicide in adulthood,

I’ll say some holy words,

I won’t pray in silence,

She was unfaithful,

She uttered sad facts,

She was living it up,

She was in the south,

She knows east from west,

Will I wish her well?

It all got away from her,

We once walked the streets,

We sat down to coffee.

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