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November 28, 2018

Insults under my breath,

She didn’t listen,

I write of previous hells,

I survived them.


Now I’ve been warned,

There’s an ultimatum,

I don’t react well,

I turn it around and flee.


I win. I won, in dreams,

Greatness was never mine,

It’s unbecoming,

I see it as a threat.


I’m well off, fortunate,

Hence, I threaten,

He’s no longer here,

He sold his house and home.


He smiled. He was cruel,

A true friend, long-haired,

I saw spite in him,

I’m lucky to still be here.


I know his name, the cretin,

The dilettante, the dandy,

Dressed to impress,

A drama queen in chains.


She sings operas,

Ballads after ballads,

I’m at ease, at rest,

A bin’s beside me.


There’s no greeting,

I’m silent and serene,

You already called,

We’re not interested.


I make it difficult,

I’m without peace,

This is temporary,

I seek refuge here.


Why do they deny me?

Am I the sole remaining?

I’m left standing,

It’s raining. I’m cold.


I’m unwanted, I know,

It’s undeserved, this fate,

We try to force your hand,

You never back down.


It’s absurd, this grin,

No. You’re not known,

You breathe audibly,

I once believed in love.


She speaks quickly,

I fail to understand,

We’re pressed for time,

Soon another will come forth.


She’ll be in a ribbon,

She’ll be the one,

I’ll hold her eternally,

I’ll never forget.


I’ll forever remember,

She’s a feature of dreams,

I hold her in my heart,

I’ll never come to her again.


She’s not beside me,

I could meet her daily,

She returns home nightly,

It’s dark. She’s afraid.


She acts. She plays the clown,

Finally, we met,

Twice, we were denied,

Magic didn’t grip us.


I change seats. He passes,

We’re in dire straits,

In small apartments,

They’re fools, impoverished.


Of course, there’s no god,

All faith is forbidden,

We walk the halls blindly,

We’re heretics, at a loss.


It’s most challenging,

Pay the fine, the price,

She’ll be a horrid woman,

She’s a horrible child.


They know basic structures,

They don’t know the rules,

We’ll keep an eye on you,

You promised. You lied.


I don’t need this horror,

One by one, through the door,

The open market, a crime,

We capitalise on oversights.


I was ahead for a moment,

Then came a crash,

Progress was halted,

It blew up before us.


Don’t take the cake,

It’s a poisoned chalice,

Now, I’m a stranger,

Now, I’m forgotten.


Pay attention in time,

You’re diabolical and lost,

There was no prayer,

You’re on your knees, at rest.


I’m guilty. I find a way,

Our futures are never planned,

I placed a bet in vain,

Snake eyes look up. I die.


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