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November 29, 2018

Her baby’s in her arms,

She overrated his love,

She overrated his talent.


There’s no need to rush,

Not this morning, never,

They will be impossible,

I’ll return to the past,

They already know this,

They know the answers.


She’s a dropout and glad,

She’s realised her dreams,

She was always my dream,

She’s come at night for years.


Her thoughts are elsewhere,

With others. They don’t know her,

Not like me. She’s worthy

Of endless affection. She’s lost.


She’ll disappear. We’ll forget,

We’re already forgetting,

She’ll die in obscurity

Like certain Hungarians.


She rocks me to sleep

With her broken English,

She hums and I nod off.


I’m guilty of dire deeds,

They’re unspeakable, my crimes,

She sings songs to me.


She’s now bound to fail,

This is her destiny,

She was always near the end,

She stares it down hard,

It stares back, relentless.


She worked the media,

She lives in modern times,

She doesn’t deny her age,

She reflects the world.


She was young, innocent,

She was naïve and pure,

Then she broke down,

If only she’d stayed put.


I never knew in advance,

It’s tragic. It’s the final moment,

We were meant to meet,

She’ll tire soon enough,

She’ll abandon her child,

It’s clear. She’s not fit,

She’s most alone, in the dark.


There are no words spoken,

It began slowly, briefly,

Then they took it and ran,

He was Dutch. He broke her,

She’s out of sight, invisible.


I don’t know their names,

If only I didn’t know her,

She’ll soon return to me.


I’ve nothing to say,

I had nothing to add,

I saw her before a stage,

She’d broken my heart,

She could have been mine,

All’s gone to waste today.


I don’t believe her happy,

She’s depressed, postpartum,

When will we hear from her?

It’s no longer the same.


She was perfectly absurd,

She’s unrecognisable,

She appears serene, fatigued,

This will pass. She’ll return,

It will never be the same.


She reminds me of another,

They’re both on the other side,

They went the other way,

They turned away from us.


She stands apart. She’s vain,

She’s eternally at home,

We won’t hear from her,

When will she vanish?

It will become too much.


She owes us nothing,

She will be nothing,

She forsook hope and prayers.


There’s no forgiveness,

We ought to leave her,

Peace will find her,

Her back’s turned away.


She’s in the corner,

She’s weeping audibly,

I refuse to take her hand,

I won’t press her to me,

I’ll let her suffer and cry.


She once knew wonder

But reality has overtaken,

I don’t believe in her,

She was honest and true,

She’s given up on that.


We have all that we need,

It’s ever present here,

I imagined us together,

I was a fool but I knew.


I no longer see the exit,

I recall the final tune,

The final hope in vain,

I was far from home,

You weren’t near. Normal.


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