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December 3, 2018

It’s an endless cycle,

I’ll see that I’ve failed,

The walls are vibrating,

There’s cash to outlay,

It will do nothing for me,

If they’d just let it be.


I was once employed,

I was ashamed, pathetic,

I imagined myself away,

I dreamt. I’m guilty,

It was good advice,

I didn’t heed it. I erred.


I could have been wealthy,

They offered me riches,

I denied them at length,

I needed to travel far,

I couldn’t imagine it,

I would have been afraid.


The smell of rotting flesh,

They’re covered in maggots,

Put sawdust on the vomit,

We’re none the wiser now,

It was late. I lay down,

She was right to be angered.


It was good enough for me,

She was my dream,

I held my dream tight,

She was in my arms then,

Then she went away,

She left without a word.


They’ll summarise my folly,

My folly was to fall,

I fell into a deep hole,

I was surrounded by horrors,

There was no way out,

No escape. He’s right.


He needs no one. I’m weak,

With every day I’m stronger,

I’m more bitter. I hate,

I hate myself. I’m lost,

I lost myself. I’m culpable,

If I’d just looked elsewhere ….


I stared straight at her,

It was never right,

It was all wrong, an idiocy,

It was over daily,

I never freed myself,

I was in chains, locked tight.


Listen to your own words,

You don’t give a chance,

Why was I given permission?

Get out of my sight,

Your infidelity is disgraceful,

I’m glad to be home, free.


A light shines in the distance,

Priests and nuns give thanks,

He places women in cages,

He was longly imprisoned,

We never believed in truth,

Freedom is a dream.


Speak out loud and pray,

The walls are paper-thin,

His cap falls forward,

It’s impractical today,

I see them twice and cry,

I see them separately.


How is it that they’re worse?

They’re in a small group,

They’re silent. They’re rowdy,

I’ll go to the cinema,

I’ll forget myself in twilight,

The sun sets silently.


I’ll never again break

In the face of perfection,

I’ll point out that I know,

I should have known in advance,

As a child I knew peace,

I stayed alone for hours.


They played this song once,

They played it famously,

They were paid a fortune,

We looked the other way,

The past returned promptly,

It was the end of time.


The risk paid off it seems,

Your teeth are horrific,

Suck my blood like a leech,

You’re a vampire bat,

It’s daytime. You’re asleep,

You reside in a cave.


It’s dank and dark and sad,

Your grand dungeon prison,

You’re tied to a wall, flogged,

You’re in a suit and tie,

There’s a grand piano,

You’re on stage. You cry.


There’s no need for this,

I misspoke. I was false,

My gift was generous,

I provided you with culture,

She knows his name,

It’s all thanks to me.


I’m judged, tarred and feathered,

I’m uninspired by this,

I’m cruelly mocked and

I’m at fault. Go to the edge,

Take a final step and drown,

Tumble to your sorry death.


He’s heartless. He’s innocent,

We’re better off in the dark,

There’s no danger, no alibi,

It’s beginning to trouble me,

I can’t count on her,

I never could. She’s the one.


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